Beyond Borders

            Many times in life, we find ourselves as unsociable creatures, cocooning ourselves within our own little corner of the world. We look for the closest corner when we enter a party, a hole, nestled away in the corner of the library, a table by ourselves for lunch or eating alone in our car, just so we do not have to have a conversation with others. We are perfectly content having our own little patch of grass; we throw up the walls, and pull up the drawbridge.

            It is as though we are a country of our own, borders etched in stone, and we refuse to seek that which is beyond those borders. In doing so, we miss the beauty of people or the beauty in the world that God has provided for us to enjoy.  After a while, closing oneself off becomes a very lonely road to travel. And in the end, many times, that loneliness leads to depression. We have no one to turn to because we do not know anyone; therefore, we do not seek help.

            I totally understand the borders, the walls that some put up. My walls run high on most days, and are cracked open on others, depending on the group that I am with. I wish I could be transparent with all, but I am scared of others knowing who I am. Deep down I wonder how they would respond to the secrets contained within my heart, the demons that constantly fight for control of my mind, and the sinful acts I have committed in my life.

            That fear leads to a lonely existence. Over the course of time, we pick and choose the ones we trust the most, and share with them some of our demons. It is hard to do, trust me, I know, but at the same time, it is rewarding. Each time we open ourselves up to others, just a little more pain is chipped away, allowing a polished individual to emerge from beneath. An individual who once lived in the shadows of fear, who now lives in the sunny disposition of life.

            By stepping out of the shadows like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, the walls begin to fall. We look around and realize that we are not the only person with these barriers. However, until we can remove the burdens of our own lives, we will never see that the person next to us is in worse shape than we are. Many times, we miss the obvious because we become so inundated with our own troubles in life, and unfortunately, we become selfish and end up on the pity poor me party train of life. It is to be expected though, because by nature, society is a selfish group as a whole. There are those who find a way to step away from the group and become their own entity, a force to be reckoned with, all for the good of others.

            There is nothing that stipulates our feats have to be great and mighty, for small accomplishments are just as important, if not more so. The right group of people can go from being three lonely, cocooned, quiet people on their own, to a comic relief act as a group, each one emerging from their shell, feeding off the other for strength and courage. That is the power of God’s will when we drop our defenses and allow Him to work through us. We go from being lonely and destitute to embraced and privileged. But in order for this to occur, we must first move beyond the borders we have become so accustomed to, move beyond our comfort zone, and reach out to others. Because by becoming uncomfortable in certain situations, we have the ability to make a lasting impact on a generation, an impact that will have a ripple effect within the body of Christ. And in the end, isn’t that what we strive for?

           

Why is Being Good So Hard?

            I read something today that stipulated being a good person was difficult. By the end of the reading, it contradicted stating that being a good person was easy. I was confused and my first response was, “No it’s not. Being a good person is very hard.” And I even said as much to the individual. There are many times in life that we have mixed emotions between good and bad, right and wrong, popular or unpopular.

            All too often we tend to mimic the actions of society and by doing so, we become confused about our own belief system. At times, our moral compass seems to be stuck in one position—the position of follower instead of leader. Unfortunately, peer pressure allows us to follow our friends into sticky situations because they are our friends, and we feel distressed by following them into a situation that we disagree with versus taking the high road and listening to that voice in our head that says this is wrong.

            Society has become morally bankrupt, and for those of us with a strong moral code, we tend to feel like outsiders in our own skin. Regardless of whether you are a Christian or not, no doubt, you have experienced the repercussions from a societal backlash when trying to do the right thing. The constant struggle between good and bad becomes physically draining, and we find ourselves questioning our beliefs. We begin to wonder if being a good person with a strong set of values is actually worth the discomfort we feel over the situation.

            There is no doubt in my mind that every person at one time or another, has succumbed to the pressures of society and abandoned their own beliefs, only to feel disgusted and disappointed in their actions later on in life. We all too often become concerned with what society thinks instead of what God thinks. I do not know about you, but I know whom I answer to and there is no human that fills that position. Although God gives me the strength and the tools to persevere, the devil still attacks me every chance he gets in the guise of society and that is what makes being good so hard. It is by accepting society’s norms that we dishonor ourselves as well as God. There are many mistakes in life that I have made and many regrets I have had over making poor decisions. Although, I do not recall regrets in making a morally just decision and that tells me I am on the right path.

            Will being a good person ever be easy? No, not really. Nevertheless, there are days that it is easier than others and for this, I am thankful. Fortunately, when I falter, I have a God who is loving and forgiving where society is not. Thankfully, my heart is not ruled by society’s misgivings, but rather God’s will.

What Do You Expect From A Counselor?

    Do you ever wonder what others expect from a counselor? Why is it that so many seem to flock to particular individuals in their time of need? I ask this, because it seems, that others tend to lay their burdens at my feet, always expecting a pick me up, an encouraging word, a hug, or a witty comeback. But still, I do not know why.

            There are times that I wonder what it is about some people that they are capable of finding strength and pressing through their demons, whereas others are constantly plagued and fall deeper into the bowels of despair that their circumstances allot for. Knowing what I do now, as opposed to years ago, I surmise that that strength comes from our faith in God—or at least mine does. Those of us strong enough latch onto the positive things in life and eventually submit our lives to Christ. In return, the struggles become less burdening than we once believed. And for those who choose to hoe the road alone, they are continuously knocked down by the minions of evil (wondering why me), so far down in fact, they can no longer stand on their own two feet or stay afloat long enough to swim to shore.

            Unfortunately, sometimes they are so far gone—no one can hear the pleas for help in order to throw them a life jacket. God is awesome in that respect—if we pay attention—of allowing some of us the honor of being a go between to do His bidding. Still—I do wonder how it is that He hand selects us to perform these tasks. How is it that He decides we are worthy of His gifts? I look at myself sometimes and wonder what is it about myself that allows others to gravitate to me and pour out their hearts to me, to tell me their story. The only thing that I can conclude is that in order for others to pour out their hearts, the counselor must have a good heart, a strong conviction, a moral compass, and the ability to listen to others. In doing so, we act as a guiding light for others, where Christ has been that for us.

Still I wonder how is it that some of us garner His attention so that He provides us the gifts needed to do His will. These things I surmise I will never understand, but so long as He gives me the wisdom and the ability, I will continue to do His will, even when as a mere human, I become tired and fail. And that is why we put ourselves out there, I suppose.

For some of us, there is no answer as to why; it just is what it is. Our actions define us. We would not be complete if we did not extend ourselves to others in their time of need. There was a time when I sought to help others, forcing myself upon them, because I was so dependent on them needing me. I no longer find myself doing that. I no longer need to help others in order to feel as though I am alive. If I help them, it is because they sought my advice. And, in that moment, the blessings of God come through so much clearer than I could ever articulate on my own.

I feel honored and blessed to be able to do God’s will and help others. But even though we may counsel others, we still need a counselor ourselves. Sometimes that may come in the physical realm, but other times, the spiritual. I find that there are many who struggle with putting others before themselves. It is difficult to deny oneself of being selfish. I look back upon all the demons in my life and am extremely thankful that God sent someone to minister to me, to guide me, and to pull me from the bowels of despair when the darkness invaded my life. And I am thankful that He took an interest in me and felt the need to breathe life back into these bones. I am thankful I have been afforded the opportunity to give back to others that which has been so graciously given to me.

I wonder what talents you have. What gifts need to be cultivated? But since fear rules the roost, you fail to press in and press forward in the body of Christ. These things I cannot answer for you. That is the conversation that you are to have with someone of much higher authority than I. However, I do believe if your faith is strong and you have complete submission to God, that which you seek, ye shall find. Even still, if the answers are not provided as quickly as you like, do not fear. God’s plans do not typically align with our schedules; they align with His. Most times, His answer will be provided at the most inopportune time, and it is in this understanding that we become pliable to His will.