Deeper Still.....

     Struggles.  We all have them, but of course, nobody wants them.  No matter what, we all seem to go through difficult times in our lives constantly looking for an answer as to why things are the way they are. These struggles undoubtedly affect our personal lives as well.  Sometimes we will lash out at others for no apparent reason, constantly bickering just to hear our own voices. This somehow proves that we are still alive because we can hear our own voices.  We get so muddled down in our struggles and neglect to see the harm that we are causing to the relationships around us.  Of course, no one can understand our struggles, and everything is ALWAYS someone else's fault. 

     WE never act snotty, better than others, correct in every situation (even when we are proven wrong), argumentative (always having to get the last word in) or just down right mean.  No this could never describe us.  It's always everyone else's fault and we are PERFECT.  We all know people like this in our lives, and chances are, on some days, that person looks back at us from the mirror.  We try to live morally just, and somehow certain people get under our skin and we just don't understand it.  The misery ensues and we start blaming them.  A lot of times, the problem is really us.  Maybe we are not really as patient as we thought we were.  Have you ever noticed how it is easier to forgive friends and strangers before you can do that with your own family?  Somehow it's as though we hold our family to a higher standard and somehow constantly keep getting disappointed.  I know that there are times when I do as I'm sure they feel the same way about me sometimes.  Unfortunately it gets to the point where you can be living in the same house with someone, and not really know each other at all.

      We all feel at times that our family doesn't really understand us and when we need to talk we end up seeking outside counsel.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, we all need counsel from time to time and I find it so much more beneficial when it is a spiritual counsel.  Because at least that way, I know that the guidance I'm receiving is correct and to my benefit and in line with the Lords will.  Family doesn't always give you ideas that really benefit you in the ways of the Lord, but more in ways that you can help them.  Now don't get me wrong, if that's the Lord's will, then so be it.  However, we can't keep making decisions in our lives based off of people who really have no say so in our lives.  We need to make those decisions based off of the Holy Spirit's direction and not anyone else's including our own.  I believe part of this direction will be for us to step back and take a look at ourselves and uncover the fallacies in our own lives that cause us to have dysfunctional relationships with loved ones and try and work on that.  By correcting our own misgivings, we can go on to repair and renew our relationship not only with our family but also with the Lord.  Because if you really think about it, are we really living the life the Lord wants us to if we are not living Christian values within our own families?

     We may appear to live this way with the people in our community, but not necessarily in our own homes.  Until we can learn this, we can never really get closer in our daily walk with the Lord.  Until we get our lives completely in order, the Lord will continue to throw up road blocks hoping that eventually we will get the message and finally succumb to Him.  This realization has come to me recently and I understand we all need work in this area, including myself.  I have never professed to be perfect in any way, shape, or form. I do however try to live a God driven life. Unfortunately, I am human and am still trying to learn the lessons of patience and understanding with my family.  Hopefully they will do the same and as we work on these issues separate and together, we all can go deeper still in our relationship with the Lord.