Godincidences

     As I sit here on campus taking a break from reading, I can hear the birds chirping, cars faintly passing by, and a group of kids cackling in the background.  I feel the heat of the sun on my back and welcome the breeze through my hair.  As the breeze flows, it carries a slight hint of a smell I’m all too familiar with.  I look across the way to see those smoking as the scent taunts me with its aroma. 

     As I gaze over, I’m reminded of a life I used to have just 3 months ago.  How for 17 years I SMOKED and couldn’t get rid of the habit because I treated it like it was my best friend or maybe more like an UNHEALTHY ROMANCE.  Yeah, I like that better, an unhealthy romance.  You know the kind I’m talking about.  The kind that you hold onto because you love that person so much.  You feel as though your whole identity is wrapped up in who you are when you are with them. The kind where you would do anything, say anything, be anything, just to be with them.  You turn yourself inside out to the point that onlookers no longer remember or recognize you.

    Once you come to a realization that this is an unhealthy relationship, you try to change your ways.  However the addiction continues to pull you back in over, and over, and over again.  It’s like a never ending cycle that you seem doomed to repeat. Whether it is continuously going back to the unhealthy relationship, or quitting smoking only to return because you just can’t handle it.  It doesn’t matter what the habit is, we all have certain tendencies.  Picking the wrong guy, drinking alcohol too much, smoking, drugs, partying hard, being promiscuous, or maybe even all of the above. 

     I mention these because they have almost all had some effect on my life.  I’ve definitely made mistakes on the guys I pick.  Typically they tend to be alcoholics and well, you tend to become what you surround yourself with. The drinking alcohol can lead you down a road of destruction that leads to smoking, drugs, partying and sleeping around.  I’ve been fortunate enough that my road only led to the alcohol, smoking, partying, and almost sleeping around.  You see, I say almost for a very good reason. I almost did, but I didn’t. 

     People will say, I did this because I was drunk or I did that, never taking responsibility for their actions and always blaming it on the alcohol.  I’ve gotten myself into some pretty harried situations while being drunk, but I can honestly say, I’ve never done anything that I totally regret while being in that situation.  You see, even before I was a Christian and saved, the Lord had his hand on me.  When I would get into stupid situations that I had no right to be in, it was like I would immediately sober up and the voice in my head would say “Brandy, what are you doing?  If you were sober you wouldn’t be doing this.”  And you know what, He was right, I wouldn’t have.  Therefore, I would exit stage right and be on my way.

     I guess my point is this. We all come from somewhere.  We have been dealt trials and tribulations that we believe to be worse off than everyone else’s. We somehow believe that no one’s drama can compare to ours.  It’s a matter of whether we CHOOSE to stay in that unhealthy romance, or we CHOOSE to exit stage right.  Will we continue to do things OUR way that ends in pain, misery, and destruction that we are required to mask every day?  Or, will we CHOOSE to listen to that voice in our head, accept the help of those who try to help us, and pay attention to those coincidences in life.  Because, I truly believe those are some of the examples of God trying to place Himself in our lives and be available when we call on His name. 

     You may be reading this saying, yeah right.  But let me ask you this, what coincidences have happened in your life?  What voice did you ignore and things went badly? What person tried to help you and you shunned them away?  I have resolved myself to listen to that voice in my head instead of ignoring it, because He hasn’t let me down yet.  I pay attention to those coincidences, because as a friend so rightly put it those are “Godincidences.”  It seems as though the stronger my relationship with the Lord, the more “Godincidences” there are.  I am thankful for the people that God has put in my life to help me on the journey that I am on.  Because you see, without Him and them, I would be lost.